Madeline's Mind

Me & My Money

madelinesmind — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 23:12:11 +0000

In conversation with my sister today, she told me about a white woman who had written an article in America about black people and money, the lady was stating that black people were consumerists who did not think about saving and investing but spent everything that they had. As a woman of colour, a black woman I hate it when people make generalisations about black people, I find it insulting that we are all lumped into one big group with no differentiation applied, the middle and upper classes ignored and a intelligent discussion abandoned. Yet it got me thinking. Financial management is necessary for every and anyone who wants to live life freely regardless of race, culture or colour.

I have been on a real journey especially over the last year and half regarding my attitudes and behaviors around money. I recognise that I did not learn how to save no matter how much my mother told me to, I know about investing but haven’t got round to doing it waiting for a lump some to arrive at my doorstep and there have been times when my money management has been to say the least poor.

The right money mindset is something that it taught, it’s not enough to just read a book, and believe me I have read a fair few on the money mindset, it actually requires practice. As it is those good practices that develop the mindset and habits that lead to financial independence. I really have learned this the hard way… but the most important thing is not the learning but the practical application of that learning.

We are bombarded day by day with images of material things that we are told that we must have, we are wooed with credit cards, credit accounts, loans and other such delights that say we can have want we want, right now. It is this uninhibited promotion of materialism that gets us in trouble coupled with the keep up with the Jones mentality that keeps us bound from the financial freedom that we seek. The truth is, until we learn to save a little, let it grow and then invest some, until we learn to be content with what we’ve got and not try and use what we’ve not got (one of my mums sayings), until we learn how to manage money and not let it manage us we will always continue to struggle. Yet again… we stand in the way of our financial success. It doesn’t matter how much or how little your earn, it is your attitudes and actions to money that make all of the difference.

So today if you’ve allowed money to control you and are struggling to get a strong hold on your money. Change your mind, train your mind and take action. Little by little you can find freedom if you make a decision to take control.

16 Years of Marriage and 23 Years of Togetherness

madelinesmind — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 16:48:59 +0000

Today I celebrate my 16th wedding Anniversary with the man that I have now spent more of my life with than without David McQueen. I am excited about our relationship, where it has been, where it is and where it is going. I feel loved and I know that he feels the same. When it works it really works… marriage gets a really hard time these days… I think maybe that is because many people like the idea of it but are not really willing to put the work in to make it happen… much love getting rich! It takes work, communication, understanding, honesty and a whole lot of other words and actions, but if you decide that you are in it together with a common goal of oneness… then it becomes something wonderful, something magical.

I’m excited about the relationship that we have it is beautiful and I would not trade it for the world. So today I declare to the world… that I am happy and I love David McQueen!

Morning musings

madelinesmind — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 08:38:23 +0000

Last night I went for a long drive with my husband around the roads of Harrow and Watford, the night was warm perfect for a late night walk although we didn’t actually do any walking. We spoke about many things, expectations or the lack of them, relationships, religion, life… it’s something we do ever so often and gives us the opportunity to really unburden ourselves of any thoughts, frustrations or feelings that we may have and further still its a good time to share new learning.

Our drive has got met thinking this morning about life and our expectations of it, I’m musing just how much of it do we spend in unrealistic expectation of postive change. Now not everyone will be able to align themselves with my thinking this morning. I’m very aware that there are those of us who have no expectation of positive change in their lives… who’s only expectation is more of the same as the saying goes “Same shit, different day” and of those who actually only expect things to get worse and spend a great deal of time and energy telling us just how terrible it all is and how terrible it’s all going to get. No this morning I’m not thinking about those people, I’m more concerned with those of us, me included, who often have unrealistic expectations of positive change in their lives. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying at all that positive change will not happen or is not realistic… not in any form or fashion, No! But what I am talking about is our often unrealistic expectation that it will happen today!

I don’t think that I could live my life without my positive aspirations, hopes, dreams and the promises that I feel that the universe is to fulfill for me, in me and through me. However, I do question how I’ve processed this positivity and how because of my often gung ho attitude of ”It’s going to happen any minute now” (only to find that actually it hasn’t happened now) I may have caused myself and my loved ones more stress than was necessary. It’s not that these aspirations are not to be fulfilled but I think that I/we need to be more realistic in our expectations of them. I am a firm believer that we can change our state and our circumstances and that there is abundance all around us, but becoming successful in this change and accessing the abundance doesn’t just take a positive attitude it also requires of us that often used yet often shunned word “action.”

Here is the thing about action and expectation, you cannot expect to do an action once and feel then that all you desire should come to you… no not at all… what I have observed in the 42 years of being on this earth is that action must be accompanied by discipline, determination and consistency. I’m not excluding words such as love and passion, but these three words seem to me to be the basis of success. We can expect what we want but we need to recognise that it is through action which is discipline, determination, and consistent that success comes and our expectations can be met.

First of all our expectations need to be realistic and this is extended further to the timescales that we expect our expectations to be fulfilled in. If we step into our positivity, with realistic timescales and expectations taking disciplined, determined and consistent action I truly believe that we would experience far less disappointment in our lives. This is a change that I am going to make from today, although I’ve been working on it for some time now, I’m putting this formula into practice in my every day life…. I’ll keep you posted on my success… I wish you well with yours.

Today go ahead and get on with it.

madelinesmind — Tue, 24 May 2011 12:03:26 +0000

Something has clicked in my brain, I am the only person and the only thing in my way to success in whatsoever area I choose to be successful in. There are always reasons not to do what you want to do, there are always reasons to stall… the truth is that they are excuses. There is always a work around, a way out a reason to keep going.

So today… get on with it and determine in your heart that you will get on and do what you want to do… regardless of the excuses.

My Weight Journey…this is it!

madelinesmind — Sat, 21 May 2011 18:35:45 +0000

OK so it’s time to really make a difference. I realise that although I have gifts and talents and i’m great at what I do, I’ve been hiding.. so this week I decided to

Before!

come out and let the world in. It has started with a personal journey to conquer my weight… I feel like the weight I have been carrying over the years no longer has a use or a purpose, well not in the way I think I used to think that it had. I don’t need it for protection or comfort or to hide behind, it no longer honours me… it holds me back. It’s time to ditch the unhealthy relationship with food, the sedentary life style and the endless hours of thinking about doing life differently, it’s time for change.

So my quest is to achieve a size 12 in my clothes, currently I and between a size 18 and a size 20… I’ve already lost around 7 – 10 pounds but there is about 7 stone that I need to loose. I’m ready to do this and I’m doing it on my terms, there is no Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Lighter Life or Cambridge Diet on this journey, it’s just back to basics eat less and do more. I’m rolling with determination, self belief and honesty this time around. I have absolute belief in myself to achieve my goal and maintain it and I know that I am able… by God’s grace. It is time.

My journey is logged at Madeline McQueen The Weight Journey

Take a look and I hope that it inspires you… I’m inspired and excited and grateful for the accountability. This is my journey and I’d love for you to come along with me on it.

Get on with it…

madelinesmind — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 00:53:05 +0000

This year has really marked a year of change for me, I’ve already seen a change in my mojo and attitude to getting things done. My outlook is far more positive and I can see and feel that life is getting increasingly better. I trust myself more and that fear that used to gnaw at me has dissipated leaving me free to be and live. So what’s changed.

Well… I’ve had it affirmed and confirmed by at least three people over the last year or so and yet again this month that the golden cheque that is life changing is not coming my way. Yes there are those who pray or use the law of attraction to get that cheque but that is just not my destiny and it is surely not where I should be putting my efforts, energies or hopes. The truth is that this year will be all it can be for me and more if I will but just go and get it for myself.

Well what does go and get it mean I hear you say?

Here’s what it means for me:

Ask for what you want and go get it.
Ask for what you want from whoever it is you need to get it from
Expect a yes
Do the work that you know you need to do to get what you want
Take massive action
Make the call, send the email, write the letter that you have been putting off.
Focus, follow up and follow through
Remember the worst someone could say is no… there are plenty more options and solutions around everything doesn’t rest on their yes
Don’t let it (whatever that it may be for you) pass you by as the song says.
Stop telling yourself that you’re an idiot.. you are not and remember those are successful don’t fret the small stuff
The more you step out of your comfort zone the more you’ll step out of your comfort zone (Do more and you’ll do more)
Stop comparing yourself to others and frying their fish… you’ve got your own fish to fry
Stop focusing on what you think people may think and focus on how great what you are offering or doing is.

Remember that you only have one shot at this life, is what you are doing the best that you can do with the skills, knowledge and ability that you have? Are you really living the life that you want to live? If not shut the hell up with your negative talk and get on with it, do your do and enjoy the ride. Life is too short and let me tell you something else… the magic cheque is not coming, no sir, not this year!

Toasty Masters… hmm toasty!

madelinesmind — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 11:21:38 +0000

This year I have decided to really get myself out from behind my husband and get my speaking into gear.. from church to speaking in schools and at events I’ve really done it off my own back, but felt that it was time to put myself in a group that could keep me accountable, gain some really valuable learning and practice at the same time. Now whilst my husband offers public speaker training, I felt that I wanted to do my continuous professional development outside of what we offer.

Enter… Toast Masters!!

Toast Masters is an international organisation that offers public speaker training, accountability and practice… Hey presto everything I need! I went to my first meeting last night in Watford to get a sense of how they do their do and I have to say I really enjoyed the experience. A warm welcome exuded from everyone I spoke to and whilst extremely structured in it’s agenda and process, it at the same time felt informal and friendly. What really struck me was that although everything that happened on the night was evaluated, the feedback was cushioned with positive overtones and warmth. Whilst there was competition it was not brutal, derogatory or mean, it was warm and helpful and everyone seemed to benefit. I can truly see how attending such a meeting can increase your skills and abilities in the areas of public speaking and leadership but also and maybe more importantly in the areas of self esteem and confidence. I had a truly delightful time.

I’m back again in two weeks time, I’m determined to join and become and active member, I’d recommend it if you are looking to get out, network, build your skills and your confidence.

Thank you Toast Masters Watford, you made my first journey into your world worthwhile, warm and toasty!

Happy New Year World

madelinesmind — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 23:15:44 +0000

Well 2011 is finally here, and I for one am so excited, a new month, year, decade and a new opportunity to live your best life. For me this New Year is all about being the best that I can be, trusting my instincts and going for gold. I’m not focusing on VAT, Petrol, food & train fair increases… will they affect me, yes, but I’m a firm believer in “you get what you focus on” so I’m focusing on what I can achieve, what where I am going and making my life fun, interesting effective and worthwhile.

I wish you a great New Year, it will be what you make it so go for gold and make it your best ever.

Have a great one!

Getting back to the real meaning of Christmas

madelinesmind — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 13:45:22 +0000

This year, is a really funny one, I’ve never been so unprepared for Christmas and gifts have been a little strained in coming forward! I know I’m not the only one who is finding that this Christmas is a bit of a struggle.

Financially it’s a strain and the pressure to conform to the yearly buying of gifts and gorging on food is very heavy. Advertising is pushing, food, perfume, alcohol, toys, games, phones and just about anything else you can think of, you must buy their products and you must buy them now. Moreso, if you haven’t quite got the cash, then put it on your credit card, get a loan or go to cash converters! What a palaver!

We miss the reason for the season, we loose out on giving more than things we purchased, we miss giving of ourselves, expressing our heartfelt love and appreciation for those who impact our lives. Yes we can give a material gift, but gifts can come in all shapes and sizes. This year one of my best friends and I @Gayle Edwards decided that since we love each other and give gifts throughout the year that we would have an amnesty on giving gifts this Christmas. We both scaled down our Christmas expectations and have reached for the family games, scaled down the food budget and expectations and gone for love, friendship, family and laughter. The pressure is off!

If you are financially finding Christmas a struggle this year, scale it down and lower the expectation. My other best friend @Joanne Robinson, created her own christmas cards using family pictures and wrote words to specific to each individual she wrote a card to. The meaning in these cards is more than any shop bought card can provide. Some of us have things that we have bought and never used and most probably never will use, why not use that as a gift. You can scan pictures onto special picture paper and create a calendar. Why not divide up that tin of buscuits you bought into small freezer bags and wrap them and give them as gifts with a ribbon on top? The same goes for that tin of chocolates you bought that you really don’t need to consume!

The real meaning of Christmas is about giving and the ultimate gift was Jesus and what he did was give of himself, his gift was reconciliation and eternal life. Who are you reconciling with this Christmas? Whose life are you reinvigorating with your words, time and attention? To whom are you giving hope, love and care? This Christmas spread a little love or even a lot, appreciate what you already have and be thankful. There are many whom if they had a small fraction of what you have this Christmas would be more than overjoyed.

This Christmas enjoy the real meaning and receive a blessing that a material gift could never give.

Happy Christmas everyone x

Get out of your own way!

madelinesmind — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 11:01:39 +0000

Oft times we have great ideas, skills and abilities and we are able to help others define themselves and what they do. We are great at bridging the gap for our friends and family and even for complete strangers. Then it comes to doing the same for ourselves…that’s when we find that there is a huge hurdle to get over… ourselves!

Success has formulas… yes and there are steps that you can take to fulfill your potential, but before you do anything you have to take a full frontal look at yourself and be really honest about who you are and what is stopping you. It’s not the people around you, it’s not your boss, it’s not your finances nor is it your disability, your spouse, your nose or your weight. Whilst many of these people and things can be tiresome and present challenges… the truth of the matter is that these are just excuses, stories that you have told yourself over the days, weeks, months and years to justify the lack of movement in your circumstances that you are experiencing. You, just like I was, are comfortable in your uncomfortableness.

Your situation isn’t bad enough for you to do something differently, ask for what you need or tell yourself different things. You’ve been affirming yourself but not with words of encouragement, extolling your virtues or telling yourself you can. No! you’ve been very busy comparing yourself with others, telling yourself that they are better than you or that there circumstances are better or that they have more than you, more contacts, more to offer, more of everything and anything. I’m hear to let you know that it is an absolute lie! You my friend are a liar and the person you lie to the most is yourself! Fact!

You are in fact, beautiful, able, talented and skilled, worthy, full of passion, and ultimately magnificent. The good book says that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. In truth you are enough.

It’s time to change the record and rewrite the story, instead of blocking your way through negative thoughts and speech, focusing on things that are not going so well in your life and searching for the problem turn it all on its head. Speak words that are positive, look for what is good in your life, find the solutions and ask for what you need. You don’t have to be your problem and you don’t have to stand in your own way. You can step aside and let life flow for you and experience new and interesting things, follow your dreams, do things that support you and find people who lift you up.

You are in the driving seat so get out of your own way and fly!