Be Open!

At the crack of dawn this morning, I was having a conversation about being open with my best friend Gayle.

Off she had gone at 6 o’clock to a work out with her body in mind only to find that the she and her exercise instructor had business interests in comman. They got talking and are now looking at how they can cross refer each others businesses with ideal clients already in mind. Here is the thing, they were both open to opportunities where ever they might arise.

Being open doesn’t mean that you walk around with a sign on your head saying “Hey look at me I’m open!”. What is does mean is that you are willing to look for possibilities and opportunities regardless of the situation you find yourself in. Some people feel that business opportunities can only be found in business focused events, this is simply not true. You can find that your business interests are aligned with anyone, anywhere. It just depends on how will you are to ask questions, answer them and look for best fits.

Being open doesn’t mean that you attack everyone you meet with your business offering. It does mean, however, that when you get that urge in your gut that says “go on say something” or that tingle that says “ahh something might fit here” or any such sparkle that gets your curiosity going or your fear of rejection buds dancing… just go for it. Ask, inquire, inform and go for gold! It could be a new client or supplier, career or job, a mentor or coach, a new friend or access to that bit of information you’ve had problems getting hold of… being open means that all these options and more have a better chance of getting to you.

Be open to the opportunities around you today, don’t look at your problem, look for the solutions they are already in place and people and organisations are just waiting for you to be open!

All that Glitters is not Gold

When I first moved to London oh something like 17 years ago, my mum made a comment to the effect that she thought, I thought “that  London’s streets were paved with gold”  Having travelled back and forth for 4 years in order to pursue my relationship with my then boyfriend and now husband David McQueen I was under no illusion that London has some big issues and that I would have to mete out my success with fear and trembling and that I would not find literal gold on the streets.

Here I am many years later and I can truly say I that what I have found, without a doubt, is that all that glitters is not gold. In a world where wealth, fame and fortune seem to matter to the masses I too, got caught up in believing that what you have defines who you are and your success. The big house, the fancy car, the credit cards in abundance, dining out very regularly and so much more, you know the score. It seems that in the western world what you have or what it looks like you have seems to be more important than who you are and that is often the case “down south”.

David and I have a number of  acquaintances who most definitely look the part, they seem to have it all, appear to be very successful and in with the in crowd! Everything is in control, the money is banked and they are living the proverbial life of Riley… or are they? Just scratch under the surface a bit more you you will find that their gold is in short supply.  You may think that you have little and not in their league, but you might be surprised to know that many are faking it, living their lives based on credit, an old reputation and in miserable relationships. It looks good but only a few bits of thread are holding it all together.

I’m not trying to dis anyone, I was there once, with everything looking great on the surface and the reality being really quite frighteningly different; scratch the surface and you wanted to cover it up pretty quickly! What I do want to point out is than often we we give ourselves a hard time for not having what other people have, not reaching their perceived level of success, not being on their level, not having their money or contacts or whatever. The truth is we have no idea what their reality is, we have no idea how much what they have has cost them in money, friends, values etc. Our job is not to covet what they have and decry what we haven’t, our job is to be content  and grateful for with what we have and strive to be the best that we can be without comparison to others.

Too often we are looking at dead wood that has caught the sunlight and think that it is a prosperous, healthy, fruit baring tree,  it’s not… its dead wood! If we could just for a moment stop to look at the little sapling tree (ourselves) which we often ignore because of others, we might just find that we have the potential to become like the great red woods of America which sparkle in the sunlight, standing tall, authentic and lasting.

Remember all that glitters is not gold, but if you can be look after with your little piece of lead you might just find that it turns into  real gold!

On Being Me!

I know I’ve said it before, but I have to say it again, over the last few years I have been on a huge self development journey and it has been a huge learning curve for me about myself, my interactions with other and who I really am.

This week another learning came into play, I realised that I can be easily swayed to go with the flow of someone else when things are going well, but when I get brought back to earth with a bump I remember the cold hard facts that had kept me on the straighten and narrow before got distracted. It happens in business when someone comes along with a lucrative offer that looks like it will make you lots of money, it’s a deal that you just can’t refuse or so they say and you’d be a fool not to go for it. Is it lucrative? most probably but… does it fall in line with who you are and what you do? most probably not! But the thing that really catches you is the opportunity to make that extra money and so you try it.

Funnily enough it is almost inevitable that to be successful in this new idea, this new venture you need to be committed and the more you go down it’s road the more you realise it is just not for you and that you are not committed because it does not align with your passion, your purpose and your goals. It’s called going off your straight and narrow!!

Very soon you find yourself having to pull out of the new venture and having to go back to basics and revisit your vision and your goals . This very same thing happened to me this week is a slightly tweeked way. But the same kind of problem with the same kind of outcomes. It happens with relationships as well! So what I have I learned?

1: No matter how good it sounds if it is not in line with who I am, my values and what my focus is, then it is not for me.

2: My opinion is valid and I should not allow someone else’s to crowd out mine.

3: It’s important that I be who I am, regardless of the expectations that others place on me.

4: Life is too short to live it the way someone else wants me to.

5: It’s OK to say no.

This week I have had to step out and say “Stop” and then turn around and go back to the road I should I have been on. The one that is “my” road. This week I remembered that I am ME!..  not who someone else wants me to be … and that is all right!

Customer Service and the Credit Crunch

Yesterday I found myself driving my girls around some of the little villages surrounding Watford. It was a beautiful day and since my daughter is currently on crutches I decided that country lanes were the best thing for us. It really was a beautiful spring day and it got me thinking about my garden and how I could make the best of it so that my summer months were delightful.

I happened across a garden store which was a business run from home. It had some really beautiful plants in that I could see making a real difference in my garden. I started walking down the aisle of plants and was in awe at the different varieties of plants, herbs and trees available. I came across  some heather which I though would be great for my garden as I wanted something that could spread over the boarders but still look pretty. So I embarked on asking the person who appeared to run the centre for some help.

Hmm, well yes he did answer my question but what was missing was good old customer service. In these times of credit crunch you can’t afford to lose an interested customer… well maybe he could… After answering my questions he proceeded to have a chat with his friend and completely ignored me. I decided it was time to leave and continue my amble around the countryside with my girls.

In short he lost a sale, I chose not to buy. He never really engaged with me, he never asked me what I was trying to achieve in my garden, or suggested what could work, he never offered to show me any other alternative to the heather. I had made it clear that I was looking for something that grew quite quickly, unfortunately he never picked up on it. I had asked if he had debit card facilities and he had said yes… My goodness man, that was a buying signal if ever I’ve heard one. Opportunity knocked and opportunity was lost.

Especially in these times it is important to make your customers feel that there business is important to you. You never know who your customer could know or  who and what they are responsible for, for all the garden centre man knew I could have been the buyer for a larger garden centre. When customers are holding on tighter to their money, businesses need to be alert to the clients buying signals and seize on them with care and consideration for nervous buyers.

I’m not sure that I will ever buy from that garden centre, it seems that they were not interested in my custom and as a result I am no longer interested in their business offering. If you run your own business or work within the sales environment, remember that your customers are people who want to make wise decisions and sometimes need help to decipher how your offering fits into their need.

Are You Hungry?

My favourite children’s book is called The Very Hungry Caterpillar, when I see it in book stores I always want to purchase it again even though I know I already have two copies already stashed away at home. What is it about this book that holds my attention and makes me smile every time I see it wanting to read it again and again? You know what it is? It is the layers of learning that come from such a simple book.

The story is of a caterpillar who over the course of 7 days eats more and more food and eventually becomes so fat that it cannot move. The caterpillar becomes a chrysalis and then turns into a beautiful butterfly.

For children, the learn the seven days of the week and counting and various foods and so much more, but I got to thinking about this story and how it relates to life’s journey. I turn 40 this year and I am excited abut what the other half of my life holds for me, I realise that I have been on the journey of the caterpillar for all of the first 40 years of my life and right now I am ready to fly.

So here is the learning for me and for other adults out there who may be wondering when their change is going to come.

1. It takes time to develop who you are, your beliefs, values and most importantly what your purpose is.
2. Your experiences feed you with knowledge, understanding, skills, resources and resilience. You gain maturity through experience.
3. We are never given more than we can handle. The Very Hungry Caterpillar eats more food each day increasing exponentially only by one item each day until just before it goes it’s its metamorphosis I have learned that just before your change comes one is expected to handle a larger obstacle than ever experienced before. However you have been gearing up to this so that you can handle it.
4. There is a time when we need to stop and take stock of where we are and make changes. Where we find out who we really are. This may feel like we are not moving forward even though we are ready for change. However, like a fine wine we are maturing waiting for the right time to burst and delight ourselves and others.
5. It is only when we have gone through this process that we can emerge as a beautiful butterfly embracing all that we have learnt and continue to learn and stepping wholly and fully into our purpose without. This is when we truly realise the value of everything that we have been through before.

Here’s the thing… in order to get to being a beautiful butterfly you’ve got to be hungry.

It takes time…

We live in an ever increasingly instant gratification society, over the last decade we have had an exponential amount of loans, credit cards, by now pay later and other such financial carrots dangled at us as part of the “you can have it now” ethos that has taken over our world. Recently we have seen that this mentality has come crashing down around our shoulders and is fashionably referred to as the “Credit Crunch”.

When I was a child, it took time, hard work, effort and patience to make a house a home and fill it with the mod cons most home buyers expect today as standard. It took grit to afford to go on holiday and come back without owing a penny. Business took time to bed in and build so that it could be profitable and appreciated by it’s customers and suppliers instead of the set it up overnight and make a million in a philosophy that often privales in the modern board room.

What I have learnt in recent years goes against the modern norm… it takes time. It’s taken time for David and I to build Milestone and we know that it will take much more for it to be the sustainable business we want it to be. It’s taken time for us to appreciate that it “little by little” is far more powerful than “all in one go”. It takes time to build a positive reputation and it builds time for others to recognise it.

I sat proudly observing my husband today as he beamed because he was featured in “The Voice” Newspaper as one of the movers and shakers to watch in 2009. He has worked tirelessly with young people to raise their confidence and attainment levels and has networked constantly at the sacrifice of family time to build contacts who could help him gain access to the more lucrative corporate work that buoys up the work he does in education.  To see him featured was a real priviledge but not something that has come over night, it has taken time and it will take more to really get where we want to go.

There is a phrase in the bible that says “Let patience have her perfect work” and every day I am learning that this is exactly what I need to do. That with patience, endeavour and a giving spirit over time all things are possible.

So go ahead… take your time.

Olympics… It’s Just Not Good Enough

Well it’s not is it…? I have been riveted to my screen during this years Olympics, I have cheered and watched with my mouth wide open, stayed up until almost 4:00am watching the women’s marathon and Paula Radcliff’s excruciating completion of a race she was unprepared for. Watched as UK athlete’s and sporting hopefuls worked there buts of to put Great Britain just over a week into the games at 3 position of the medals tables, unable to believe that we are still on the front page and climbing.

So what is it that is not good enough? Well my husband and I and many of our friends have all posed the question….. “Why is it that other countries are able to achieve phenomenal success in sporting championships and we (Great Briton) are always watching the success go by?

Well we did discuss that maybe the reason that Chinese do well is because their government hold their parents captive and the lives of their family and themselves is at risk if they don’t perform. Or that the Americans know that it is all milk and honey when they get back home and they are truly celebrated. Whilst we had a laugh we all unanimously agreed that one this and one thing only makes the biggest difference and this is…… investment!

I felt ashamed and angered and I listened to Kate Read who ran the 10,000m who said that she had “No support, no physiotherapy and no lottery funding”. Sounds about right!!! There must be better investment into the success of our sporting teams, better facilities (stop selling of the leisure centres and land), better training (use those that can… Linford Christie is a great example), link sports to education (they do it in America.. if you don’t have the grades you can’t compete). It’s time we sorted this out. Too often programmes to engage new talent are under funded, lasting 6 months or a year or so and then they fizzle out and the talent that they were nurturing fizzles out too.

If we really want to compete on an international level then we need to look at

what is working well or other countries and model what they do, investing in the infrastructure that is required to produce quality, consistent altheletes. Maybe…just maybe this might be one of the many answers to helping resolve the youth crime and youth disengagement that we see on our streets today.

I take nothing at all away from the outstanding performances of the athletes I have eagerly watched and cheered on our screens, and yes I was willing both of the athletes who went after gymnastic bronze medalist Louis Smith to fall and I did laugh and jump when they did, Hell I wanted the boy to win a medal and he did!! I feel excited about the prospects of 2012…. but somethings got to change and I think that it might be that the powers that be take British sporting seriously and stop short changing those who work tireless to bring home the medals for their country!

Are You Accountable?

It’s a questions that many people feel uncomfortable with. Whilst we like to think that we are accountable for our actions and words we live in a culture that blames everything and anything on everyone else. Gun crime, overspending,  a lack of discretion, children’s behaviour, racial inequality, a mistake at work, you name it and it’s someone elses’ fault.

One of the sign’s of maturity is when you are able to take responsibility for your actions (I emphase your actions not everyone elses’) without the “buts” and be accountable. Corporate environments are often a nest bed for blame culture and then many who work on their own often blame the market, the business and everyone else for their failure often ignoring the fact that it is their own actions and decisions that have determined their demise.  We see it in recent child abuse cases where all the parties involved in the case blamed each other for not doing enough. When will it end?

When we take accountability and responsibility for our actions we don’t ever need to look over are shoulders wondering when we will be caught out. We live and thrive in reality because we know what we are and what we are not capable of. We don’t need anyone else to be our crutch and don’t spend our time lying to ourselves about our responsibility in the events of our lives.  When we take responsibility for ourselves constructive criticism is  much easier to swallow as we are not too surprised by it’s conclusions, we already know where our weaknesses lie. Life is just that bit easier because we don’t have to waste energy attempting to believe our own lies to ourselves.

So as you go the events of your day today as yourself… am I accountable?

The Apprentice: What??? Shariz! no way

What the hell is going on?

Jenny is a nightmare on legs, she does not listen, she makes things us and as Margaret says “she can’t see sideways”. In fact the wrong people where in the boardroom, if any on it should have been Lindi and that Jennifer who says that she is says she’s “the best sales person in europe”. As a Corporate Sales Account Manager and Sales Manager I have never seen so many so called Sales people miss buying signals and

They what was Sir Alan thinking, he got it wrong, very, very wrong and we are going to see Jenny fall I am sure in a collosal way which will hopefully completely open Sir Alan’s eyes. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a television programme and Shariz may not make great ratings unlike the personalities of Jenny and Lucinda so it was inevitable that she would go. But he got it wrong.

I hope that Shariz get’s snapped up by other companies as she showed a level of organisation and common sense that seemed to be lacking in the others. I would have loved to have seen her as a project manager.

Self Belief: A Vital Key To Success

I’ve found that self belief has most probably been my biggest hurdle in life. Self belief! Believing that I can!! I mean even if you know that you have got skills, talents, abilities, a great product, service or offering something deep inside holds you back from achieveing all that you know you are truly capable of. That knowing what you can achieve gets muddled by the layers that life places on you.

For me it was working with a boss who constantly questioned my ability, whilst knowing what I was capable of. A boss who truly felt that belittling me would motivate me to success. I when I left that job I left flying but scarred by my experiences. It was the stigma when I changed from a high flying successful sales manager to become a stay at home mum and housewife who felt that the world suddenly no longer recognised my talents and abilities. It was when I forgot being a parent was the most important job in the world and had oodles of value.

Like many others, for years I struggled with knowing what my purpose and focus was. For a long time my confidence through the knocks of life had been dented. Words have a huge effect on how we feel about our selves and they had a big effect on me. What others say and more importantly the words we say to ourselves go deep. It takes time and effort to learn how to filter the voices of others and promote a positive voice to yourself that builds your self belief and it’s not something that comes overnight. It is a slow realisation that comes with speaking words of life into our lives, no longer dependent on the words of others to make us feel useful and secure. It is also through the evidence of all that we have achieved and then giving ourselved the lea way to believe the evidence before us.

Those who I know who have immense self belief constantly tell themselves the good stuff and they tell others theirs. These statements start with “I am…” or “I can…” and words like “can’t” are removed from the vocabulary as working solutions are always sort and found.

One such person for me has been Shaa Wasmund, she has immense self belief and she affirms herself in almost every conversation. Now, whilst I find her self appreciation just a bit over the top for me, there is much to be said for her self affirmation. I take my hat off to her for her level of achievement as she is willing to try anything and take on just about anyone because she fully believes that she can.

Know yourself, what you can and cannot do. Be comfortable with who you are and be comfortable about your skills and abilities… believe in them. Let yourself know that you are good enough, capable and enough. Believe!!

Nuture your belief, develop it, use the evidence of what you have already achieved and continue to achieve on a day to day basis. This will support your claim to your abilities and your success and what you can and will achieve. Believe you can! Tell yourself the good stuff and allow yourself to bask in it. Then take massive action you will quickly see the results and have more evidence of your magnificence. Most importantly you will have stretched yourself outside of your comfort zone and outside of the layers and limits that you and others have placed on yourself.

Your developing self belief will be the key to your success and as you nuture it your success take root and become and intregal part of you.

So go on… dare to believe